Everything Counts

How much hubris can one be capable of?

A shit ton, if you'll excuse a lady's language.

We go from thinking the whole universe revolves around us and making decisions accordingly, to being punched in the gut when we find out too late we are but a speck and the universe is much much bigger than us.

The terrifying thing, is when we really do create a new orbit, either adding or subtracting people we care/d about by our stupid, thoughtless actions. Orbits don't typically dramatically shift on their own, and it is the most painful when they are forced to shift.

What we do, the decisions we make, they matter people, they matter. From being responsible about how much we waste, to taking charge of our paths, to treating everyone we care about with kindness, hell, everyone with kindness, but especially those we say we love.

I may not be a Bible thumper anymore, but I do believe that love puts the other persons interests not just on par with yours, but above it, in the most healthy way possible.

I'm grateful for some of the absolute hell I've been through over the past few months. It's taught me that my biter, sarcastic comments are always better left unsaid, and I don't deserve a pat on the back for having what I think of as a 'really witty biting come back' and just not saying it, but telling it to someone else later. Nope. Just don't say it.

My sweet adopted parents have taught me so much through example about treating everyone they come into contact with with the utmost dignity and grace. I should have known from ballet that grace is 100 times harder than it ever looks and is rarely if ever appreciated. But the point is for it not to be noticed.

Dear god it's hard not to be noticed.